June 12, 2010

Happy 17th Anniversary Sandy

Dearest Sandy,

17 years ago today I married my very best friend. My blue eyed boy, the man of my dreams, and the keeper of my Sandy. It rained that day and people said that means good luck. I knew I didn't need luck because I had already been given the greatest gift of all...I had you to love me.

We have been through a lot in the last 17 years and we have grown up together. You have taught me what real love is and how a man should love his wife. You have taught me about family, faithfulness, and trust. You have shown me that lifetime commitments are not only possible but wonderful. You have helped me grow as a woman and as a person. You have allowed me to be me and good or bad you have loved through it all. You have even carried me many times when I didn't have the strength to stand on my own.

I am not only lucky....I am blessed by God to share my life with you.

Thank you for being the keeper of my heart and for keeping it well. You are my strong warrior and my sweet prince and I adore you with everything in me.

Happy Anniversary!



Here are 17 things that I love about Sandy.

1) Sandy is a godly man. He knows where his strength comes from. He does his very best to honor our heavenly Father and he honors me as his wife. He is a wonderful Christian. He loves God and he loves to go to church. He loves our church and is very involved in it. He loves to sing praises as part of the choir. He is our treasurer and keeps our finances in line. He loves to pray for others and he prays for me. He is a righteous and honorable man.

2) He loves me no matter what. On those days when I am a wonderful wife he loves me...and on those days when I'm anything but wonderful....HE LOVES ME. I have never doubted even one time that Sandy is completely in love with me. I need to feel that way and I'm so thankful for Sandy who shows me every single day how much I am loved.

3) He is romantic. He loves doing special things with me. There is always time for candlelight, music, quiet dinners, snuggling, teddy bears, flowers, limo rides, cabins, fireplaces, hot tubs, picnics, walks on the beach, and......... all that other fun stuff :-) He always makes me feel special and loved.....and happy to be his girl.

4) He takes good care of me. He provides well for us and always makes sure our needs are met. He works hard and gives his best. He takes classes to improve his knowledge and help grow his business. He takes care of everything from my car to my heart...and he does all of it well.

5) Sandy has a tender heart. I call him my tender heart bear. He cares about people and animals. He loves babies and little children. He makes everyone around him feel special and matter how young or old they are . He is always willing to help someone in need. He is man enough to cry with me, or for me, or for others. He is a lover all the way to his soul.

6) Sandy is smart. My man is a thinker. He likes to read and study. He is good with numbers....and that's just plain sexy. He can figure things out when I don't even know where to start.

7) Sandy is a wonderful cook. He grew up working in his family's restaurants. He can make something wonderful out of nothing and you will clean your plate and ask for more. I love that he cooks more that I do and he does it well and with a giving heart.

8) Sandy takes care of his family. He is very close to his parents and his brother. He is always looking out for them with business and personal things. He is the their go to guy when they need help or direction and he never lets them down.

9) Sandy is a Florida football fan. He let me convert him to Gatorism. He watches football with me every Saturday in the fall. He lets me plan our schedule around football games. He yells at the TV with me during the games. He takes me at least once a year to whatever state we have to go to to watch the Gators play in person.

10) Sandy loves my family. He is always willing to do all the "family" stuff with me. He is good to all of them. He takes extra special care of my mom.

11) Sandy has the best laugh. I love to hear and watch him laugh. His eyes just sparkle and his whole face lights up. It makes me laugh when he's contagious joy. It makes me smile inside just thinking of it.

12) Sandy likes to travel with me. I am a born traveler and need to get away often. Sandy is always game to go wherever I want to go. He lets me make the plans....and he drives the car. I love that. Sandy also has a great sense of direction. He can go somewhere one time and he will always remember how to get back there. I think that is so great because I rarely remember how to get anywhere outside of our town. I can sit back and enjoy the ride with Sandy because I know he will get us where we need to be.

13) Sandy is a great friend. He loves all of our "adopted" brothers and sisters and friends. He would do anything for any one of them. He loves to be with his "boys" and knows I need time with my "girls". Anytime we are all even better.

14) Sandy remembers dates. My birthday ( Oct 19th), our anniversary (June 12th), our engagement day (Aug 15th), our first grown-up date (Jan 18th). (I remember too!!!! ) He never forgets any of them...and never has. Love that!!!

15) Sandy still completely owns my heart. He loves me, he cherishes me, he makes me feel loved, honored, and safe. He is mine....heart, body, and soul. I trust him with all my heart.

16) Sandy is a great hugger!! He has strong arms and when those arms are around me I feel completely safe and warm and protected. I love to put my head against his chest and heart and linger in that place of complete rest. That is the only place in my life that I feel that safe and free all at the same time. Being in Sandy's arms is for me the same feeling I think I would have sitting on God's lap.... at least, that's the closest comparison my mind can make.

17) Sandy is my very best friend. He is the one I never have to doubt for even an instant. He is faithful, devoted, and true to me. He always has been. I love watching the world through his eyes and I love walking this journey with him.

That's just 17 reasons out of 1,104,609,432 reasons I love Sandy.

Sandy (My Groom), I'm proud to be your wife.

Forever & Always....And then some....I LOVE YOU!!!

Your Bride,


April 13, 2010

A Life Changing Phone Call

Almost 3 weeks after I had this last test I came home to a message on the answering machine from my Doctor. He just said he had the results of the test and to please give him a call.

My initial thought was these two things.....1 ) if it was good news he would have left it on the machine.... and 2) HE SOUNDED VERY DOWN..... !!

The next day I tried to call and he was out of the office for the day. So on Friday, ( June 26th, A day I will forever remember) I was able to speak with him by phone. He asked me if after the test had the technician told me anything about what he saw and and I told him no. I knew by the sound of his voice I was about to get some really bad news.

He said, Tammy, I'm really sorry to have to tell you this but both of your tubes are completely blocked. I was totally shocked to say the least. I was expecting him to tell me something bad but honestly I wasn't expecting it to be that life-changing bad.

He said that this report was the last thing that he expected for me and he was completely surprised at the results of it. He said that he didn't expect it at all because we had never in the many years I have gone to him had a single issue that he thought could have caused any problem. He sounded like that he was as upset as I was. I could really tell he was disappointed for me.... for us.

I asked if the report showed him anything as to what the damage was or what had caused it. He said no that it didn't. He did tell me that this is usually caused by scar tissue, infection, cysts, or endometriosis. None of which we had had a problem with before (except the possible recent ruptured cyst on the ovary). He said it was very possible it had been that way for years. That often women have ruptured cysts, or even infections and never even know it. The body just heals them on it's it's own way. Apparently, sometimes that healing makes scar tissue that can cause problems like this. :(

I asked him what our options were and he basically said that there were two things that could be done.

The 1st thing being surgery to clean out the tubes. He said that this sometimes works but not always. The surgery would only clean out the tubes for a limited period of time and then the scar tissue would come back....maybe worse because of scar tissue from the surgery too. Plus the fact that you have to wait until the tubes have time to heal before you can even try.... doesn't make this a very good option.

The 2nd thing would be in vitro fertilization. This basically involves bypassing the tubes and implanting the eggs.

Both of these options have a 40/50 % chance of working and are not covered by insurance because they are elective. The cost of either of these procedures would run about $20,000 - $40,000. A lot of money for something that has only a slim chance of working.

We talked a few more minutes and he again told me how sorry and surprised he was. He then told me to take some time to decide what I wanted to do and let them know if we wanted to proceed to the next step. He could arrange for us to meet with a fertility Doctor. With that we hung up.

I realized two things as soon as I got off the phone. 1) Never make a phone call that could potentially change your whole life while sitting at your desk at work surrounded by people who don't have a clue what's going on. And 2) Life rarely ever turns out the way you think.

I can tell you that I have never before or since felt the range of emotions that I felt in that moment. I don't know if I was more angry or sad but I do know that it didn't take long for me to ask God why things had turned out like that.

I just didn't and still don't understand why God allowed me to go through about two years of hard counsel before He changed my heart about wanting to have a child...and then over a year of trying to give us this answer of no. I STILL TO THIS DAY DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT!!!

As I sat there at my desk..... I suddenly had a thought that cut me to my core. A thought that absolutely hurt me in a place I have never been hurt. That thought was this....

How am I going to tell Sandy that I can never have his child? How on this earth will I be able to say those words to him? How do you break the heart of the person you love more than anything and take away their dream of being a daddy? I have never been more mad or hurt at God in my life than I was in that moment.

I didn't know what to do at that point. I sent an email to Sarah & Keith telling them that I had gotten bad news on that test and to please pray and keep me and Sandy covered. I told them I would tell them the results later after I talked to Sandy. I also tried but couldn't reach Dewey.

And then I started praying....and praying...and praying.

I was praying and asking God to tell me how to tell Sandy. Did I call and tell him over the phone.... did I email....because I wasn't sure I could make the words come out of my mouth. How on earth was I going to tell him.... and how was I going to get through this day? I forgot to mention that this phone call happened around 9am and it wasn't even near lunch time yet.

Within a few minutes my cell rang and it was Keith. He said, I couldn't stand it any longer...what happened and how can I help? I said I can't say because I haven't talked to Sandy yet. To which he said, Tammy, Sarah & I know what that test is for. I'm going to say that since you said it is bad news that that means it won't work. To which I started crying and softly can't work. Keith, being my friend and my Pastor took a long time to counsel me and remind me of God's power in this situation. He reminded me that we had just received this news and that we didn't yet know how God would choose to redeem it. He reminded me of God's love for me and I needed to hear that....because in that moment....I wasn't happy with God at all.

After talking a few more minutes he said you have to tell Sandy in person. Can you leave and go find him and I said no. He said ok but I need you to know that you have to tell him in person even if you have to wait until this afternoon. This is your dream together and you have to tell him the result face to face. It will be better for both of you if you do and Sandy deserves that from you. I said I would and we talked a few more minutes and hung up.

The rest of the morning and afternoon was spent with a variety of emotions that I can only describe as heart wrenching. Unless you have walked in this place you really can't understand the loss you feel in that particular moment. My friend Dewey later told me it was like suffering a death. And I think that is the closest thing I can describe it as. He called it a death of a vision and Sarah later confirmed that to me also. The death of a vision is the loss of a dream or plan that you had for yourself or your life that was good but somehow not meant to be.

I had several more phone calls and emails from Keith and Sarah checking on me throughout the afternoon. They reminded me that God is bigger than test results and heartbreak. He is also the healer. I wasn't very convinced of that in those moments. I was in a place of hurt and confusion beyond what I could carry. I so badly wanted to just go and be with my honey and have him hold me. But leaving work would have made me have to explain to the whole group what had just happened.... and I sure didn't have the strength to do that. So that meant having to make it through the afternoon. Only by my friends prayers and concern...and my God holding me up did I make it until 5:00.

I then headed home to tell Sandy...

To be continued...

April 7, 2010

Tests, Tests, and more Tests....

This is a continuation of a previous post.....

In March of last year I began to have severe pain in my left kidney or ovary area. This started on a Wed. night at church. It was terrible shooting pains that would make me cringe or double over with pain. My friend Sarah noticed that I was in pain and immediately asked me what was wrong. When I showed her where I was hurting she then asked if there was any way that I could be pregnant? Not really wanting to answer that (because at that point no one even knew that we were trying except my dear friend Dewey) I just stood and looked at her blankly...or more like a deer in the headlights probably. To which she said....well, let's just say that it is could be having a tubal pregnancy....because the pain sounds similar and it hurts in the same place.

Well, as you can imagine....that scared me to no end. So all during the bible study that night that possibility was all I though about. After the bible study I told Sarah that there was a possibility of me being pregnant but please to keep that between us since no one knew about us trying at that point. I did tell her that she could tell Keith. (Keith is our Pastor and Sarah is his wife and they are both our great friends). She said she would and she and Keith became two more invaluable confidants for us on this journey.

After another day the pain eased off for a few days and then it came back with vengeance and a fever and cause to believe it was my kidneys instead anything else. I called and made an appointment with my regular family doctor...who thought immediately that I had kidney stones. We did labs and nothing showed up out of the ordinary. It did not show that I had any type of infection. However, because of the fever and where the pain was he still believed it was my kidneys. He immediately scheduled me to go the next day to Hamilton Diagnostics to have dye ran through my kidneys to see if anything showed up.

The next day I went to have this test and my sweet Sandy went with me. When I went back for the test and was in the room signing the consent form the technician asked me if there was any possibility that I could be was pregnant. Knowing that there was and not believing I had not considered the danger of this test if I was….I said yes. I thought the guy was going to fall over in the floor at my answer. He said, well, this dye is radiation….and so before we do it we need to have you do a pregnancy test.

So I got dressed again and went to their lab and had blood drawn to be tested. This blood work had to be taken to the hospital to be tested since they needed to know the answer right away. If you ever wonder what a blood test at the hospital costs…this one test was $144 ….. Anyway, after they took the blood work I went back to the waiting room to wait for the results. This was stressful because by then my phone was ringing with my family wanting to check and see how it went..... and I couldn't / wasn't about to tell them I was waiting on a pregnancy test before I could even do the test.... so I just had to stall them which wasn't fun. I will say that my friends Dewey, Sarah, and Keith all called to check on me too...and I did at least have them praying for me as I waited. Best of Sandy was right there with me. Finally, about an hour later the results came back negative and I had the test done on my kidneys and we went home.

The next day we went back to my doctor for the results. The test showed nothing in my kidneys and my Doctor asked me if I thought I had passed it the night before the test? I didn't think so but I still don't really know.

This pain continued to bother me off and on over the next few weeks and I began to wonder if something else was going on. Most likely a cyst on the ovary causing the pain. So I made an appointment with my GYN Dr. Stuckey to get everything checked out.

At the appointment with Dr. Stuckey everything appeared to be the norm. He did think that the pain was caused by a ruptured cyst that was on the ovary. He wasn't very concerned about that because he said they are very common and can cause a lot of pain but they are generally not dangerous.

So after discussing that I told him we were trying to conceive and not having any luck. I think that he was surprised at that revelation since he has been my doctor for many years and never heard me mention anything about kids. He said he was excited for us and that he hoped that everything would work out. He then suggested that we do some additional blood work to make sure all my levels were normal and that we didn't have any problems there. Everything came back normal.

We discussed a few things and he suggested that I start taking prenatal vitamins and come back in about a month. He did point out to me that on this particular day that my blood pressure was very high (160/90 I think) and that he wanted me to keep up with that daily for the next month. He and I both figured that this might be stress related with all that was going on but he wanted to be sure.

In April I went back for our next appointment.....still no luck. We did some addition blood tests on this day.....which again came back normal levels. My blood pressure was almost back in the normal range so we decided we were just going to keep an eye on it and see how it went. We scheduled another appointment in another month.

In May we still hadn't had any luck and so Dr. Stuckey suggested we move to two more extensive tests. First we had to get Sandy checked out and that came back fine. So the next was a test for me called a Hysteroscopy. This test involved having a dye ran through the tubes to see if they were blocked. We scheduled this test for June 5th.

On June 5th, I went back to Hamilton Diagnostics to have this test done. Sandy wasn't able to go with me this time as he was with his mom as she was having heart by-pass surgery this same day. So I went by myself. This time I knew I wasn't pregnant so no more $144 pregnancy tests on this day. This test involved having a dye ran through the tubes while the radiologist watched the dye on a computer screen to see if it was able to pass through the tubes. There was a computer screen up by my head that also allowed me to watch the dye and my insides on a screen and see what was going on. That was pretty neat to watch and I think I could tell by seeing where the dye stayed that we had a problem.

This test really hurt a lot but thankfully it didn't take but about 30 minutes. When it was finished I was allowed to go home. I got calls from those who knew I was having the test before I even reached home checking on me. That was a blessing.

When I got home I crashed for a few hours and then we headed out to a wedding renewal of two special friends. I was in a lot of pain but we had a great time. The couple glasses of wine probably helped....

We wouldn't find out the results of this test for 3 weeks. So again....we waited.

To be continued...

March 19, 2010

Trying....Well, This Should Be Fun.....

Sorry it has taken me so long to get back to this blog. There is a lot going on in my life right now and it is sometimes hard to sit and try to put my thoughts into words.

Well...again....excuse me if I say anything that offends anyone...... I said I was going to be real and I'm trying to do that without going to far. This is our experience.

So we finally made the decision to try to have a baby.... and we got started on that right away : ) ... So if any of you have known me for more than an know that my primary love language is physical touch and that I make no excuse or bones about that. I love all of the physical stuff.... hugs, cuddling, and that other good stuff too. I could very easily be a guy when it comes to sex....except.....well....I'm not. This is just who I am and that is who God made me to be. If you want to show me that you love me a good tender hug will take you a long way..... ALL that other stuff though belongs only to Sandy.

But I digress. So we, like most, thought this part would be easy....and fun. And for a while it was.

When you are trying to have a baby you at first don't really put a lot of thought into the planning of it. You just as Nike would say..... "Just do it". You enjoy the freedom of using no protection and the excitement of just being together whenever you want.

However, as times passes and you are not getting the results that you want you have to start looking a little ... well, a lot closer at the technical timing of being together. You see...there is an optimum time of the month that you are most likely to be able to conceive. A window of about a weeks time at which you are most likely to be able to be able to make a baby.

I will tell you that we hated this part of trying with a passion. There is nothing like being on a schedule to take the romance out of the most intimate part of your life. We really hated this part so much. As much as we love being together, to have to look at calendars and timing and predictors..... romance quickly goes out the window and making love becomes a task to do. That is something that it should never be. Emotionally this was very difficult for both of us.

There are a lot of emotions that go into trying to start a family. There is the joy of thinking about what will happen when you find out you are pregnant. There is the joy of thinking about telling your family and your friends that you are going to have a baby. The thoughts about baby names. The question of will it be a boy or a girl....or in my family the possibility of twins.

There are also a lot of emotions that go into wondering why it's not working. Like... I wonder what the problem is? Is it time for tests? What does that involve? What if it's him? How do I tell him it doesn't matter? What if it's me? How do I tell him? Am I enough? Are we enough together?

It's really difficult to have these kind of things on your heart and spirit day after day....week after week....and even month after month. There is a constant reminder ever single month to tell you that all that you have done....has not worked.

And it didn't.

The story continues.......

January 13, 2010

A Walk By The River

The Story Continues..... (See the three blog posts from October to catch the beginning of this story....or if you haven't read it since then you may want to re-read it just to refresh your memory). This is a real in progress story and I have promised to be real and honest as I share my feelings. If I offend anyone with what I say along the way I ask that you forgive me and try to understand where I / Sandy are walking right now. This is our story.

A Walk By The River.....

Have you ever had one of those days when you know something big is coming and yet the words just won't come out of your mouth to acknowledge it? A day that your spirit senses that your whole world is about to change? It was a day like that that we first began to try to have a child.

For a few months we had been talking back and forth about having children and if it was in the plans for us. We didn't really know what we were going to do or what God wanted us to do. We had concerns about our ages....specifically mine and any health issues that might arise from that. We knew that with me having just turned 40 that there was going to be a higher risk associated with that to both me and a child. But I guess in the end we knew that if God was strong enough to change my heart about having children (He was!) that He would certainly be strong enough to protect them and me from any danger.

I don't think that we ever consciously said out loud that any particular day would be the day we would start trying. I think after all the years it had taken to get to this place that the pressure of saying this will be the day would have been a bit overwhelming. I guess we both knew within us that we would know when that day had arrived....and we did : )

I remember that day just like it was yesterday. It was a beautiful fall day and we were headed to Gatlinburg for a long weekend of enjoying the Christmas lights and visiting Dollywood . It was one of those days when everything you see catches your attention and you see beauty everywhere you look. We had a late check-in time so we took our time getting there and drove in along the river road. The sun was shining and the river was sparkling like thousands of beautiful diamonds. We were captured by the beauty around us and decided to stop and walk down by the river and take some pictures.

Everywhere we looked we saw God's glory and magnificence. In some places the water was running briskly over the rocks and driftwood making beautiful waterfalls and cascades. In other places the water was as calm and smooth as glass. The trees all around us were still displaying their beautiful fall colors as the sun smiled down through the trees onto the water. The picturesque curvy mountain road touched with colorful fallen leaves completed the whole beautiful picture.

It was an afternoon of enjoying Gods beauty and of also feeling His presence within you and around you. It was a day that my spirit sensed something big was coming our way. We had an intimate time of just being quiet together and enjoying God’s creation. I had a knowing feeling deep within me that this day would hold something special that would forever change who we were as a couple.

After several stops along the way we finally made it to Gatlinburg and our condo. What a nice place with a wonderful mountain view. God was really working overtime on showing us beauty and on calling in the romance….

We went to dinner at Calhoun’s for BBQ and enjoyed having time to sit and talk and watch the Christmas lights through the windows. After dinner we drove around Gatlinburg and Pigeon Forge and enjoyed the lights. (If you have never seen the lights in Gatlinburg and Pigeon Forge at Christmas it is well worth the drive to check them out. They are beautiful!!) After that we drove back to the condo and relaxed.

The rest of the evening I won’t talk about except to say…. It was wonderful and when it came time to make a decision ….the decision was already settled in both of our minds that this was our time. And….that’s all I’m going to say about that…..

The next morning we went to Dollywood and spent the day having fun and celebrating being together and being in love. We had taken a big step in our relationship. It had taken 14 years to get there and the bond we felt on that day was deeper than it had ever been. There would no longer ever be any barriers between longer anything held back.

Our lives and our relationship had forever changed in a single moment. We just had no idea how much.

To be continued.....


p.s. For all of you who thought I was going to say that we fooled around down by the river....SHAME ON YOU .... :) ... it was just too cold.......haha

January 7, 2010

A Fresh Start

Happy New Year!!!

Isn’t it great to start a new year? To be given a clean slate….to leave the past behind….to start over completely fresh.

I love it! Starting over soothes the soul in a way that few things can.

I can tell you that I have never been happier to start a new year than this one. This last year has been the hardest year of my life. I have struggled with my life, my faith, my spirit, and with my God. I have hurt in places that I never even knew existed in me. I have questioned who God is, what His motives are, and why that He has allowed such pain and confusion into my life. It is the most lost that I have ever felt in my Christian walk.

I could go into what that is all about but I will just say it like this. This past year we lost one of the greatest dreams that God had ever put into our hearts and soon after that we lost one of the greatest joys the God had ever brought to our life. To say it was a tough year is a complete understatement.

I have never experienced a time in my life where I have been more filled with confusion and hurt and questions that just have no answers than in the last year. It has been a life changing experience and I will never be the person that I was six months ago.

Have you ever noticed that when you are in a crisis that it completely steals your focus away from everything else? Trust me when I say that it does :) A great friend of mine recently told me that I needed to take a step back from all I was looking at. He said that I was standing so close that all I could see was the problem. In essence....that meant that even though God wasn't answering my questions to my liking.....or on my time table.....that I was so absorbed in the problem that I couldn't even see the things that God was doing.

So I've taken some time....I've stepped back the best that I could... and I have reflected on the last year....AND..... I have seen God's hand in action all along the way. I want to tell you a couple of things that I learned during this time of reflection.

The most important thing that I can tell you that I saw is this…. GOD NEVER LEAVES!!! . I mean He never leaves ..... Ever! When I questioned Him.... He listened. When I yelled at Him (Yes, I have)...He smiled. When I walked away....He followed. When I doubted...He was visible. When I cried..... He drew near. No matter what I did..... He stood right beside me and He never ever left.

The second thing is this. No matter what is going on in my life God is still God. He loves me, wants only the best for me, and He will work this out for my good in His perfect time. Just because I may not be getting answers or seeing things through God’s eyes does not mean that His plan is not already in action every single minute.

All that being said, I’ve given myself a fresh start with this New Year. I’ve laid down the last year’s hurts, disappointments, questions, fears, anger, confusion, and worries. That doesn’t mean I am over the things that have happened or that I won’t ever pick those things up again. What it means is this. I have put all these things back in God’s hands where they belong and I have started fresh once again. It may not be God’s will that I ever know the answers I’ve been seeking….but it is always His will for Him to take care of me. That is more than enough.

Friends, Will you join me in starting fresh with God this year? Will you take some time to reflect and see God’s hand working in your life? It’s time to make a choice. It’s time to lay it all down to the one that it belongs to in the first place. Will you lay down the hard things that you have been carrying over the last year…..years? Will you give it to Him and leave it in His hands and trust that He will make something beautiful of it in His perfect time? It’s time to give it back to Him. We were never meant to carry it in the first place.

Please join me. I know it won’t be easy. I will struggle to hold onto the past and the questions that I have. So will you. But it’s time to let the weight of all that go. Our Father loves us. It is not His will for us to carry the things that we don’t understand. It is not His will for us to feel brokenhearted, or guilty, or unloved, or misunderstood. It is His desire to walk with us the hard things of our life….and to carry the things that we don’t have the strength or knowledge to understand.

Let’s lay it down guys. Give Him our burdens, our past, and our future. Lay it down! Accept the freedom He gives. It will change us forever if we will but trust Him to do what is already His nature to do. That is to take perfect care of us. There is nothing He wants to do more.

Lay it down! Then look up and watch to see what He does. We are going to be amazed!!

Blessings and Peace and Freedom in the New Year!